A Letter I Can't Send Because I'm Blocked Everywhere
Dear ex, I understand that I can’t send this directly to you because you blocked me completely after I sent your printed obituary to your poor-poor parents in Nebraska. So, that is why I decided to play mailman, by sending it to your new girl and hoping she passes it on to you with a hint of awkwardness. Well, I walk down your street with precise caution now. Just hoping that I won’t find your face in the crowd. What then would I say or do? Would I smile or grin? apologize or greet? ‘Oh, good afternoon…I - I am so sorry, I never thought I’d see you here!’ My god, even I know that sounds crazy. But then what if you’re with her? I know. I would probably make a very silly joke, and maybe – hopefully, only I wouldn’t laugh at my joke. Maybe you and that silly girl could just make it less awkward by laughing too. But then, how should I be okay with any of this? She literally stole you from me using a breakfast sandwich. How cheap can you be? If you’d told me that you were that che...